Confessions

I didn't want to give in. just about everyone i know has read this silly book. and it's about a stupid vampire. i said i would read the first one if it ever became available at my library, but really had no desire. i was on a waiting list for about 3 months to get. it came, i read it in 2 days. and no, it's not my absolute favorite book in the world. but it has been a LONG time since i have found a fun book that i have wanted to read that fast. it's entertaining, easy reading. as my cousing put it, she's a good storyteller. even if it is about vampires. (it also really helped that i have been sick and have an INCREDIBLE husband who takes over without any complaint and lets me rest)
so yes internet. i confess i was wrong about mrs. meyer's twilight. it is quite enjoyable!

My next confession is more for me and my journal, so for those of you who don't like TMI (elder will!) just stop reading now and look at the pictures of how cute my baby is.

anyway, as you know, spencer has been sick. he finally had a well baby check up this week. he still has an ear infection and his teeth are stuck and don't want to pop through. AND as i already new going into the appointment, he isn't gaining weight. in fact, he hasn't gained ANY weight since he was six months. that's 2 1/2 months worth of weight not gained- almost 2 pounds more should have been the minimum.
over the last few weeks i have felt pretty strongly that it was time to ween him. i could tell from how his clothes fit that he wasn't gaining weight. (for those that don't know, we had the same problem with jared, though it was between 4-6 months, and he lost a lot of weight. i was starving the poor kid.) anyway, i could tell that we were getting to that point again, but i kept telling myself that really i was just being selfish 'cause i secretly really was just done nursing. i want my body back. i want to not be afraid to leave him for longer periods of time. i want, i want i want. i know, it's kind of selfish. but really, i just was done.
so when we went into the doctor's and they weighed him, and i saw the number, i new it was time. at first the doctor didn't think it was a big deal. he said that really, 18.5 pounds at 8 1/2 months is average. i know, i told him, but he has been there for 2 months. then he started to examine spencer and noticed the skin around his neck and shoulders. i guess it is pulled in such a way that made the doc take a second, third, fourth look. he told me that his skin didn't look normal there. it looked like a person who has lost weight. so it was decided that yes, indeed it was time to ween him- as soon as we could. even though he eats well, he obviously isn't getting enough calories.
In all honesty i was a bit too happy. all i needed was someone else to tell me i wasn't just being selfish and i should do it. i got what i wanted.
but here is my confession to my son: i cried myself to sleep that first night because i was so devastated that you weren't going to need ME first thing in the morning. at first i thought i was crying because it had been such a frustrating day. you screamed and spit and pushed that bottle away like we were trying to poison you. you REFUSED formula. it wasn't until the 4th kind that you finally decided it was one you could handle. THANK YOU NESTLE! i new i really liked your chocolate for a reason!
and then i realized really why i was crying- my favorite part of nursing. that first 6:30 am feeding where i would get you and pull you into bed with me and we would lay down and snuggle. every morning with out fail it would remind me of you as a newborn, sharing my bed with me because your dad was gone. having you there all snuggled close helped fill such a hole of loneliness. and each morning as i nursed you i was reminded of how gratelful i was to have you when i did. that really it wasn't such a burden to have you all alone because you (and your brother of course) were the ones that kept me sane- and busy and tired and happy and sad. you kept my life going when it was the hardest. and now i don't get to have that experience anymore. and i still want to cry thinking about it.
but i get to watch you grow. you are one independent little man. you won't even let me hold your bottle for you! you are trying so hard to crawl, it's so fun to watch. and you are clapping your hands in the cutest way. i just have to keep reminding myself of all the joys to come as you continue to grow!

GROSS!

We finally got our pumpkins and started carving them last night. it's a little later than normal, but i've been sick and well, excuses, excuses. it didn't matter much, this clip pretty much sums up how jared felt about it all. he got down from jason's lap right after this and then wanted nothing to do with them. soo, they still aren't done. you'll have to wait for the final product pics later- i know, the suspense will kill you- sorry!

There was NO prompting whatsoever here- that is just how he feels!

I'm thinking....

That we need to have a little talk with our nursery leaders! :) Jason picked jared up from nursery today. when they came to our seat in sacrament this is what jared was telling me. he also included that the holy ghost goes "OOOOOOOOO" like a regular ghost. guess it's time for another family home evening on the holy ghost. (but i think we'll wait until after halloween)

It's almost Halloween......

You know you're jealous!

these were all taken at a little pumpkin walk we went to this morning! it was a beautiful day. The creations they made were so cool. they painted the pumpkins and gourds - we liked the noah's ark one the best.

The jungle

the snow all melted and made everything all green. it's really pretty mixed with all the fall leaves. i took the boys for a walk around the block tonight while jason was at class. when we got home i put spencer in the swing and jared said to me- "mom- put me in the jungle!" and pointed up in the tree. He sat up in that tree for at least 20 minutes playing captian moroni. he had a stick in his hand and he fought the leaves. he plays with this little captian moroni action figure and is OBSESSED with it. he just loves it 'cause in his little board book scriptures captain moroni rides a horse. anyone on a horse is the COOLEST!

WOW

What a crazy weekend we had! Spencer had kind of been a bit ornery all week long. he had a little fever finally on friday so i decided to take him in to see the doc. but the timing of it all ended up making things soo crazy. i worked on my costume all day, then took spence in- and of course they made me wait in the room for 45 min while he was SCREAMING (i finally went out and yelled at them, and then they were a lot more helpful) - jared had a ticket to go to the treehouse for the 'not scary haunted house' which he really wasn't in the mood for, and quite frankly i wasn't either. but it was nice. he got to play with the cutest ghostie, zoia. but neither of them wanted to stop for a picture, so this isall i got.
spencer is doing a lot better now. he has a double ear infection, sore throat and is cutting his first four teeth. as long as i keep him drugged up, we are good. we've had a few very sleepless nights, but i think the worst is mostly over. though his teeth still aren't in yet, but they are almost there! i can't believe my baby finally has teeth. i know, there are many babies who have 6 teeth by 8 months, but not mine! now he can really eat- he will eat anything i give him. it's kind of nice to be able to just give him anything. a new thing for us.

An - Ti- Ci- PAAAAAAA - Tion

GNASTICS!

so about a month ago, my friend mechelle said that her little boy was starting gymnastics. he is 3. i thought maybe we'd try jared even though he is a year younger. long story short, the place decided to start a mom and me class for 2 year olds. and to say that jared loves it is a total understatement. he thanks heavenly father for it EVERY time he says a prayer. really, his and the other kid's attention spans are quite non-exsistent. but it's fine with me. he loves the bars, balance beam, big and little trampolines, doing forward/backward rolls, crawling through hula hoops, sliding, stretching, etc. they have this large foam pit that he runs and jumps into like it's a pool. all the other kids just kind of sit there. not my boy. he gets these white boards and stands up on them. he calls them his skateboards. he swings his arms back and forth like he's riding it, then jumps off and yells "wipeout!" it is HILRIOUS! his teacher just gets the biggest kick out of him. she says she has never seen a little BOY like him in her classes! (i don't know if that is a good thing yet- or if i should be scared!) i haven't taken very many pics 'cause it's hard to play and carry my camera around, but you get the idea!

Like Father .... Like Son

My awesome MIL sent me this pic a little bit ago of my ADORABLE husband. what can i say about the thumbsucking?? it's in his blood! But i will have you know, that contrary to what our last pics might suggest, spencer really doesn't suck his thumb quite that much. i had scheduled our pic appointment at the perfect time. but of course, they were running 45 min behind. which meant that he was REALLY tired when it was time to snap the shots. so, we got a ton of thumb sucking ones. but he sure is cute when he does it!

and well, my big boy loves his boots. they both wore them to church yesterday. I was one proud mama!

What do you do when.....

it's a freezing cold Sunday???

• stay in the house and watch the inches amount through the window
• discover how much your babies love movies (oh, wait, i already knew that one)
• come home from church and put everyone back into pajamas for the entire day
• dress daddy and jared up as "mommies" or mummies- depending on who you are talking to
• make really yummy brownies with carmel kisses in them
• schedule a bunch of blog posts
• take cute pictures of your boys

First day of snow ..... First day of SNOW???

i haven't even bought him new snow boots yet! (but we did find some awesome cowboy boots - and he LOVES them!) it's still snowing, and we've already got 2-3-4 inches out there!

I LOVE.....

Picasa 3 that i just downloaded on my computer!!! You can write on the the pictures, make MUCH better collages and all kinds of FUN stuff! and best of all...... it's FREE

BEAUTIFUL!!

What a beautiful weekend we had. we were spiritually edified listening to conference and physically edified by having this view to look at. It was seriously breathtaking. On sunday the boys and i went to a cabin in Sundance with the doughmans and jim mckes. (jason had drill all weekend long) this cabin backed right up to Stewart falls. There was snow on the mountains above. it was a little cloudy and rainy but still beautiful. i tried to get a decent shot of it all, but the clouds were moving fast and the snowy mountains only showed for a short while. just amazing!
Jared has just loved having all his cousins around. we're going to play with them again today. sunday night we went back to doughmans and celebrated dylan's third birthday. he is an animal! he tore through the toy boxes as fast as he did the wrapping paper. everything had to come out of the box. it was soo fun to watch!






(this is the expression jared had on his face the entire time dylan was opening presents. he followed him where ever he went!)

Express Yourself!

He is HAPPY in this, just in case you can't tell. it's his new attention getting tactic- it drives me a bit crazy!

Lovin' it

I'm just loving having my husband around so much. He actually got to go with us to the zoo this morning. we've been who knows how many times and he has never been with us. But today that changed! it was a quick trip 'cause he had to be back this afternoon for classes, but luckily this zoo is quite small and can be done soooo fast!