My cousin's wife posted this song on their blog a little while ago and it has not left my mind since hearing it. I don't think she even knows that i read her blog- but i'm glad i do!
Anyway, while i am very grateful that infertility isn't a trial i have had to deal with- i sometimes need a reminder! :) There has been a lot going on over here, that i'll post about eventually. But for now, i just needed to share this. There are so many days when i'm tired, impatient, ornery, and i just want to scream at my sons- JUST LET ME SLEEP!!! and i forget how grateful i should be that i have little beings to keep me up and teach me patience and more. My BIL often asks me what i "do" - as in what i do for me- and really i have a hard time answering that question 'cause there isn't a lot i do just for me. but quite frankly there isn't a lot that i WANT to do that is just for me- at least right now in this stage of my life. and after watching this, i'm reminded why. I'm only going to have this time now with my boys- come june, jared will never be two again. spencer will never be my infant again. those days are gone. SO, even if my house is always a disaster and i'm soooo tired, i GET to be tired. I GET to clean up after my 3 munchkins (jason gets thrown into that category :) I GET to wake up in the middle of the night to take jared to the potty for the hundreth time. and you know what- in all honesty, i really wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want a ton of my own activities for ME to do. I want to got the treehouse, or library, or music makers, or the zoo, or the dino park, or the mall, or wherever else will give my children more opportunities to grow and develop and LOVE LIFE!
And i actually do have a LOT of friends that can/will relate to this song in the way that most these women do. I don't know why we are given the trials we are given- obviously we each have different lessons to learn and only the Lord knows how we are going to learn those lessons. But for now, i am going to try harder to focus more on what i have been given the chance to do, rather than what is hard for me to do.
Monday, March 2, 2009
I Would Die For That
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3 comments:
I was thinking about that very thing today. In my class I have a few different age groups, most younger than I and a few older. One of the older just had his second baby and the oldest talks about how get children are when you can hand them back. I remember when I used to think that, in fact I think I was 23 years old and thought I was 18. It made me think, wow, how lucky am I. This talked about when they cry you can just hand the child over and move on. I thought how amazing and lucky for me that when that child cries he/she doesn't care about anyone else in the world but me or my wife, and this fellow classmate will probably never know how that feels. How grateful I am to have 2 wonderful boys who love their amazing momma so much, oh I love her too.
I see both sides... an answer to that BIL (I can totally picture the discussion) would be blogging- your kind of scrapbooking. That is for you. It will be of benefit to the boys' families down the road, but pretty much done because you like it. Make sense?
I do see BIL's point in that: continuing to build your own self. Have you seen "Nights in Rodanthe"? Basically the woman realizes she has completely lost herself as wife/mom and then "saves" herself when she brings back her own personality/traits (an art passion of hers that she'd put aside, etc) into life. -- K, B is crying-gotta check (grateful that I can!). =)
I haven't seen that movie- and i guess i should have clarified better. i don't mean to say that it isn't important for me to still be me- it's just not my focus right now. i will have who knows how many years to do that when my kids are grown. i do still do things for me- and when i feel the need more than others, i'll do more. i guess i'm just trying to focus more on the now- as far as my boys are concerned. now is what is most important.
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